Went on a leisurely ride last weekend when I spotted this cuddly little bastard in the road. I shoved him in a cargo pocket, hoping to take him back to my sex dungeon. Unfortunately, just as I got back on the road, I reached down just a fraction of a second too late to keep him from escaping. I tried recapturing him but was ultimately unsuccessful because the little bastard disappeared to quick. I will have my revenge on his/her body cavities if we ever meet again.
I happened upon a romantic encounter yesterday. I asked to be the meat in their sandwich and surprisingly they obliged*. What happened next was beautiful and I can't show you any photos but trust me it was very graphic and raunchy.
*Unless I don't actually understand the language of snake, in which case.. woops. My bad.
I had been sploring the shit outta some shit downtown today and was heading back to my vehicle when what did my wandering eyes see but a baby duck all alone waddling down the street. I thought I'd take a pic and send it to my ladyfriend and continue on. But then I started thinking about it. What was a lone baby duck doing running around downtown through traffic and heading towards the highway? I watched him pause in the street when the light turned green and all the cars started heading straight for him. I decided to chase him out of the street over into a corner. I looked around and didn't see any other ducks or signs of where the hell he came from. I stood there for a few minutes trying to figure out what I should do. I made the decision to grab him and find a place to take him. My turtle escapades had made me aware of an animal hospital that releases wild animals to safe places so I figured that's the best choice in this situation.
My ladyfriend happened to be out enjoying the weather and I figured I'd show her what I found. She knew of a place that would likely be an ideal spot. We took him over there and sure enough, there was a duck family already there. I saw 3 adults and about 7 youngin's the same size as him. So I took him down to the creek where they were all waddling around and set him in the water as near as possible. After splashing around for a little bit, he started heading towards the other ducks. Last time I saw him he was swimming near one of the adults.
And then I shoved my thumb in their arses.
P.S. I know the best thing to do with animals is usually to leave them the hell alone unless you know what you're doing. In this case, I knew of an animal shelter that dealt with wild animals and that combined with his situation downtown convinced me to grab him. If anyone thinks I shouldn't have grabbed him, I welcome you to go to Spruce and look for his family/nest or any signs of shelter for a baby duck. I feel good about it. And they'll feel better once the initial soreness from my thumbs wears off.
SubLunar wrote:And then I shoved my thumb in their arses.
Did they waddle differently afterward?
I found this strange looking cat on the side of the road today. It didn't have much fur but did make plenty of angry feline hissing sounds at me as I approached it. I was going to pick him up and pet it to make it purr, but it insisted on striking-out each time I got close. Next time, I'll be sure to bring gloves with which to force-pet him and perform the requisite violation of its corpus. One way or another, I'll make it meow.
You guys certainly prove how abundant rat snakes are. Looks like Mind found an eastern rat, and Sub found a western rat. I guess it rhymes with cat. The maters look like racers. It's hard to say without clear look at the heads.